


Phantom

by princet_ro



Series: Destiny [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Confused Deceit | Janus Sanders, Mind Control, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Tired Deceit | Janus Sanders, but fuck that i wanna be something, everyone is a mess, fuck it im speaking in bill wurtz quotes again, fun fact im supposed to be doing art and geography work rn, go somewhere, i guess, it adds to the aesthetic or whatever, no beta we die like Roman, slightly u! patton, tag-writing and general editing jaz is tired so thats why these tags are also a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princet_ro/pseuds/princet_ro
Summary: But now you're just a phantom in my head,Empty space inside my bed,How could someone so very close to me,Make me feel so badRoman couldn't be gone! He was right there! Wasn't he?a sequel to 'Karma' because this is a series now woa
Series: Destiny [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1900783
Kudos: 3





	Phantom

**Author's Note:**

> angsty as fuck because my self control is small and did you really expect this to be happy  
> also not a supercallifagalisticexpiallidocious fic because my drafts had to be cleared out n shit so i thought why not post this
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> angst. like biiiiig angst  
> referenced character death (spoiler warning it's roman)  
> implied character death (bigger spoiler warning its also patton at the end)  
> grief  
> shitty coping mechanisms (looking @ you patton)  
> VERY QUESTIONABLE PATTON. VERGING ON U! BUT LIKE IT'S THE COPING MECHANISM THING (he's not physically abusive or anything in that sense, but the following tws on this list should give you an idea of what i mean)  
> mind control  
> morally grey/questionable acts  
> okay very dark grey acts (it's like when CLBG came out and nearly everyone theorized that janus was a brainwashing bastard  
> bad things done for like,,,,, light grey purposes. they aren't fully good intentions but like you can kinda see where pat's coming from yknow? not that I condone anything he's done but yeah  
> (comment or dm me for added warnings)

Patton twirled around the kitchen, shimmying his feet to the lively tune his friends were blasting out of Virgil's phone. Like it always had been, Virge had protested at first about the cheery show tunes, but Patton had to put his foot down.

It was Roman's birthday, they couldn't be playing My Scientific Romance or Panic at the Train Station! (He always did have trouble remembering those Elmo-or was it emo? band names)

Speaking of birthday, Roman himself waltzed in, a paper hat fluttering off his head as he spun around the dad side.

His sash flapped with the motion, the darker red stains on it cracking Patton's happy facade slightly. His eyes were wide with wonder, shining bright and beautiful against his oh so slightly too pale, too gaunt face.

He must have been experimenting with a new makeup look, Patton told himself, the lie sounding so weak in his head that he felt the others pick up on it, felt the concern and the smugness and the cruel delight and the aching absence of feeling that had driven him to more... extreme measures

Remus wasn't pleased with the latest happenings. He could feel the anger and the pain and the overwhelming rage, and it didn't help that the others had gotten more and more confident as time went on, Logan and Virgil's whispers flowing through him like acid water, slowly turning his blood to ice, Remus's anger tearing him apart from the inside out, grief for roman draining him with every step.

But he still had the power.

"Padre? Padre, you good?"

Patton jolted out of his thoughts, his eyes unglazing and locking onto Roman. "Oh, yeah! Don't worry, kiddo! I'm fine!"

Roman grasped his hands, the cold touch making Patton shiver and lean back unwillingly.

"Dance with me!" Roman failed to notice the movement as he spun Patton around, a puff of flour floating up into the air at the movement. Patton giggled, the patches on Roman's hands that had turned black and crusted (honestly, he needed to be more careful with ink) scraping against his skin slightly as he attempted to dance whilst still holding the bowl of cake mix and a spatula.

In his joy, he never noticed his control slipping, slipping, slipping, until-

"Hey Pat, can I talk to you?"

Oh. He hadn't meant for him to say that. Mentally he searched for the purple string, the one he had tied the least diligently, because Virgil should have been happy, right? Roman was alive, everyone was okay and Virgil didn't have to struggle anymore!

Everyone got what they wanted!

"Oh, uh, sure kiddo! Can we go outside though?"

He growled in annoyance, inky streaks trickling down his face, "Fine. But I expect you to be outside before I have to come and find you."

The last part sounded too much like a threat for Patton's liking.

"What have you **done**?"

That question was the first thing that greeted him the second he stepped outside. A smile curved onto his face despite the circumstances, "Always the same, aren't you VeeVee?"

He felt himself being shoved into the wall, "I'll ask you again. What are you doing?"

"Well, kiddo. I thought that we could finally be a happy little family!"

_"What?"_

"Janus was right all that time ago! Keeping all of you quiet was pretty tiring, sure, but look at you now! All of you, all of _us_ , we're a family!"

Virgil scoffed, the tears that seemed to always be in his eyes spilling out as he moved his head, "That doesn't make any sense and you know it. Roman is dead, you've been dancing with a _corpse,_ Janus has fucked off to who knows where, probably terrified of you, and you've got everyone else under lock and key in your little mind trick!"

"Rude much, Virgil? I've been using a little something called strategy. It's quite effective, as you can probably see."

Patton tugged at the wall and found that he was stuck to it, paralyzed, unmoving. A yellow snake curled out from under the lamp and shifted into the lying side, the grotesque transformation making Virgil turn his head and Patton want to gag.

"You literally haven't done anything this entire time, you've been eating peanut butter in the dark side commons, crying and listening to Lady Gaga."

Janus colored under the call out, before sniffing, "Well I'm here now, and that's all that matters. Continue with your little emotion-filled monologue, Virgil. Lights, camera, action, okay? I'm not even here."

_Do you remember what I look like?_

_Without tears in my eyes?_

_Without tears in my eyes?_

Virgil fumbled for a second before speaking, "It's sick, Patton. I know you miss him, but we're like puppets now! Please, this isn't right! This isn't...this isn't you! Do you even remember what we all look like when we aren't crying? Do you remember what _he_ looks like when he's not a fucking dead body?"

"It's like you have a thing for corpses," Janus blurted out, before remembering who he was with and quieting. "Right, my apologies. Continue,"

"First of all, that's gross, second of all, shut up, you've been spending too much time with Remus."

"At least I spend time with him!"

"What is this, the who-spends-more-time-with the rat olympics? I've been held mentally hostage with him for like a month!"

Patton winced at the argument arising, "Break it up, kiddos! I just want what's best for the famILY!"

_Do you remember what it feels like?_

_To never tell a lie?_

_Never tell a lie?_

"Hmm, half-truth there, Morality. Try again." He inspected his cuticles through his gloves, a completely disinterested look on his face.

He could feel his oh so carefully guarded control slipping on the others. They were tugging against the mental restraints as he weakened, the neverending strain of fighting to stay strong and keeping them in line finally having an effect as he slumped against the wall, breathing labored. "I-I just want my kiddo back! If none of you had been nasty to him this wouldn't have happened!"

Virgil's grip slackened. "I-Patton! I understand where you're coming from but-"

"Bulllshit!" Janus trilled, "Still not the truth!"

_We had chemistry,_

_Toxic chemistry,_

_You were a part of me_

"Yes, it is! I love all of my kiddos, but this was for the best! Roman can't be gone! **He** **can't! He was fine and he still is! It's not- ~~It's not my _fault_~~!"**

And just like that he was gone, the other's shock giving him enough time to struggle out of his unmoving state and sink out into his room, his control shattering as the threads gave a final tug and came loose.

_But now you're just a phantom in my head,_

_Empty space inside my bed_

He pressed his head against the door, hearing nothing but silence and his own heavy breathing and occasional sniffle. Why did it hurt so much, why was he so tired, why did everything _hurt_?

_How could someone so very close to me make me feel so sad?_

_Feel so sad?_

"I miss him."

_Phantom_

(But how exactly did he miss him, he wondered, if he wasn't even gone? The others were wrong. Corpses were icky. Roman was just special. He felt himself drifting. Maybe...maybe he could be special too.)

(And then another was gone.)

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this wasn't my best but whatever  
> i'm planning to write one more fic for this series, probably about what's going on with Roman right now, so stay tuned! (only if you want to, I can't really stop you from not staying tuned so eh)  
> also im going back to school next week so my barely-existant update scheduele will die like patton, so im really sorry!  
> my tumblr is @not-a-morally-sufficient-reason for screaming purposes and shit
> 
> comments are appreciated and also if you hate me for the angst thank you your rage and tears give me hope for the future


End file.
